When I was in high school I was overweight. Not like a muscular, healthy, but just like according-to-medical-BMI-charts overweight. Like actually overweight and super unhealthy. I lived for sugar and longed for salt basically all the time. It wasn't until my second year of college that I took an interest in health. I lost about 40 pounds and became more conscious of the amount that I was eating as well as the quality of the things I was eating. I was more active and very obviously healthier.

Fast forward to three years ago, just before Josiah and I got married. Although I was eating very healthy and exercising regularly I had developed an equally unhealthy relationship with food. Food became almost "evil" and exercise became a means of punishment when I'd overindulged. My emotional state depended solely on whether or not I had a "good" eating day or a bad. It became so bad that I would get anxious over any food-related situation that I felt like I couldn't control. There were many times where Josiah and I would go out to eat and I would end up spiraling downward emotionally, because I felt so torn between getting a salad or a burger. If I went for the burger and fries I could barely enjoy the experience because I was so worried about the amount of calories I was consuming.

The exact severity of this unhealthy relationship came to light during a visit to Firehouse Subs. The amount of anxiety I had walking into that restaurant is difficult to convey and admittedly now absurd. We walked into the restaurant and I stared blankly at the menu. Josiah asked me if I knew what I wanted and I couldn't hardly get words out of my mouth. I was overwhelmed. I couldn't make a decision. We walked out without ordering anything. I cried a lot. I don't remember where we ended up going instead, if anywhere, but those feelings remain imprinted on my mind. I had let food control my life and I didn't know how to not do that.

I still struggle with this mind set and I have to be very conscious to stop myself from letting it compromise my ability to enjoy experiences. I won't try to pretend that I don't have days where I let the mirror or scale control me, but it's becoming less and less. I can get on the scale and see a number and yeah, maybe get upset about it, but it doesn't ruin my whole day. What helps me be okay with this is knowing that whether I stay the same weight or not, I'm striving towards being healthier. If you have body images issues, I get it. I've been there. Some days I'm STILL there. It's a constant struggle to love our bodies, but taking steps to care for your body make it much easier to love! Whether that's going for a walk, taking a bath, or fueling your body with the best food around, I promise it will help you get at least one step closer to cherishing the beautiful body that you've been given.

This green smoothie recipe is the perfect everyday fuel for your body and it has been a staple for me lately. It's full of so many nutrients and does so much good for your body that you can't help but feel like you deserve a gold star every time you drink it. The lemon is probably the key in making this not taste like you're drinking a salad. The avocado adds some healthy fat and the banana adds the perfect amount of sweetness. The ginger, cinnamon, and turmeric add some anti-inflammatory properties and who doesn't want that? I like to make a batch of this up, drink half of it and then drink the other half either later in the day or the following day. I'm constantly experimenting with different variations of the recipe based on what I have on hand, but this is the base that I start with.